The Air We Breathe

I don’t think about breathing. It’s just something that I do. Because air is invisible, I just assume it will always be there. But what about when it’s not?

Mama is having a heart procedure today because her heart has decided to jump out of rhythm. They’ve got to shock it back in regular sinus rhythm. She didn’t really want to have the procedure done but she also didn’t want to have the side effects of an abnormal rhythm, one of which being shortness of breath. Mama has never really had a lot of shortness of breath before. But I’ve watched her over the last 12+ hours struggling to take a breath. I knew when she wasn’t talking that it was tough. Daddy used to tease that when she died, they’d have to beat her tongue to make her quit talking. When she gets quiet, the world should worry.

And worry is what I’ve done. I have worried about her all night long. I had restless sleep worrying about this procedure. This is her third time having a cardioversion. There’s no guarantee that it will work nor is there a guarantee of how long it will last if it does work. I know she’s worried about it, too. She’s over eighty years old and still working full time. I know she’s talked about how she’s slowing down and not near as strong as she used to be. My mama was strong as an ox. She catered and did flowers on the side most of my life. You have to be strong to cater, I don’t care what anyone says. She would lift heavy boxes like they were just holding air. To see her struggling to breathe is very scary. She doesn’t complain much and when she does, you know she’s sick.

I take so many things for granted. My mama’s relatively good health at her age. Her strong resolve to be independent despite things that most folks would allow to knock them down. My mama being here on this side of heaven to be with me and help me maneuver through this thing called life. Watching her struggle for such a basic component of human existence made me stop and think of all the things that I take for granted.

The doctor just came in to let me know the procedure went well and she is back in sinus rhythm. She should see an improvement in her breathing today if it was related to the abnormal beating. I don’t take for granted the talent of the doctors, nurses, and technicians. I don’t take for granted the miracle of such a procedure. And, today probably more than ever, I don’t take the air we breathe for granted.