Do you ever find yourself responding to someone with “well, it could be worse”? Sometimes we listen to someone else’s maladies and just want to provide comfort but I can assure you that telling someone it could be worse does not constitute words of comfort. While, yes, in many cases it can indeed be worse, it could be so much better. The thought that there could be better things on the horizon is truly more comforting than the depressing declaration that bad things can actually become much worse.
As I sat watching Mama at her treatment the other day, I thought about that very statement and how often I’ve heard it in the last few months. I am well aware that things could get worse, and honestly, that’s what I find myself bracing for on a daily basis. I worry that the chemo can make her sicker, I worry that her weakness doesn’t improve, I worry that she won’t be able to defeat this beast of a disease. More often than not, I’m worried about the worse rather than being encouraged by the better.
It could be better. It could all be better. We literally have no idea what most people are going through, even if at the surface we think we have a clue. Yes, my mama is sick. But, there’s so much more I worry about even though no one else really knows the depth. I know worry is futile. Nothing great has ever been accomplished from the fruits of worry. Yet, here I am in the valley of worry. It is in these times that I need the words of better, the words of hope, the words of encouragement. Don’t belittle my emotional state by telling me things could be worse. I can assure you I’ve already thought of a million other worse scenarios and worry about them all the time.
If you catch yourself in the midst of telling someone it could be worse, choose something else. Acknowledge that yes, things really suck right now. But, it could be better and perhaps soon it will be better. Even if it’s not, just knowing that someone can help you hope your way out of darkness is a comfort. Just like you can worry yourself into a cave of despair, you can hope yourself right back out. Hope is not futile even if the outcome we hope for doesn’t happen. Hope keeps us encouraged and guards our hearts, literally. Hope can reduce stress hormones which damage the heart, it can improve cardiovascular function, and the heart has neurons that can be influenced by our thoughts and emotions. That’s pretty strong evidence of why we should abandon worry and despair, including the spread of it.
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