Seventeen Years

Seventeen years ago today, I was there when my Daddy took his last earthly breath. We knew the end was near so it was no surprise. I actually prayed fervently that God would be merciful with my Daddy and not allow him to linger suffering. God answered my prayer and allowed him to die peacefully surrounded by his family.

I tell the story every year because somehow it helps me to breathe life to it one more time. It keeps the memory of his life alive, though the day is a solemn reminder of life’s finality. Days before he left this earth, I was away at a conference for work. He pushed me to go because he didn’t want me to miss out on that opportunity. I was too young and naive to understand how fragile my Daddy really was. The more grown up version of me would not have left his side. But Daddy was all about living life to the fullest and so I did.

The irony of this year’s story is that I am with the same group of people at a similar conference in Monterey, California. Seventeen years later but the message was really still the same…live life to the fullest. Today was the first day I’d flown since that conference in 2005. To say I was anxious would be an understatement. I imagined TSA would have to strip search me or I would lose my luggage. While on the plane, after not being strip searched, I started thinking about how every pilot had to have a first day. I prayed today was not my pilot’s first day. He managed to land the plane pretty smoothly so if it was his first day, he’s going to have a great career. When we hit a little bit of turbulence, I held onto the seat for dear life. I am pretty sure my knuckles were white although I wouldn’t know since my eyes were closed.

Let’s just say I was not really living life to the fullest while I was imagining every possible bad thing that could occur. But when the plane landed and I set foot on solid ground, I looked around in awe at my surroundings. The drive from the airport in San Jose took us through large rolling hills that were the color of straw. Although rain is infrequent in this area, it was raining on our way to Monterey off and on. But it was much too late for the foliage of those hills. It was not until we got into farming country that we were able to see anything green. We passed by a strawberry farm and a sign that said “avocados 3 for $1.” It reminded me of almost every Hallmark movie that was supposedly set in the countryside of California.

But it was when we arrived at our hotel in Monterey that beauty opened up before us like pages in a book. The hotel is located in the old Cannery Row, named to honor the John Steinbeck novel of the same name. It was named for the sardine canning factories that once lined the streets here. We decided to eat lunch out on the patio, despite the misty rain. My coworkers teased me about how many pictures I was taking but I love nature. I want to remember this moment as clearly this time next year as I do today. The seals were tossing around in the water as we ate our lunch. Various sea birds did their crash landings into the ocean, almost mimicking the frolic of the seals. We watched intently just to get a glimpse of the seals, but were often tricked by a sea gull or two. While we ate, I noticed a large, thick rainbow just right in front of me. I see you, Daddy was all I could think.

Later, we attended a reception for all of the conference attendees in a ballroom with an adjoined open patio overlooking the ocean. The sun was going down and illuminating both the ocean as well as the mountains in the distance. The sunlight created magical colors on top of the ocean, with blues, greens, and pinks dancing atop the gentle waves. I couldn’t help but think of the song Beautiful by Shawn McDonald. I kept replaying the lyrics, “what a beautiful God,” over and over in my head. The landscape was nothing short of a miracle of God’s paintbrush. The seals played close to the shore, dancing in the beautiful colors reflecting from the sky. Then, I saw it.

In the sky, directly in front of me was a big rainbow ball. It was unlike any other rainbow I’d ever seen. It also seemed pretty ironic to see two beautiful rainbows in one day. I know the science behind water vapor and sunlight. I understand that there is a logical explanation on such a misty day. But I believe in a supernatural message that was sent from heaven above. Keep on living life to the fullest. If heaven could send a postcard to earth today, I believe I was the one to get it. What a blessing that I can be here, seventeen years later, all the way across the country living life to the fullest. I see you, Daddy and I know you see me.