Revive Yourself

Being introspective is not for the faint of heart. If we’re doing a good job of it, we have to be able to look at all the parts of ourselves. And, then be willing to call ourselves out on the things that no longer serve us well.

Lately, I’ve found myself hoping and praying for a breakthrough. I’ve told myself that holding onto hope was beneficial. Hoping for the impossible is not beneficial. It leaves you in a perpetual cycle of spinning tires in the mud. It’s a lot of work with no reward and in the end, you just end up covered in mud in the same place you started.

I read an article about hope from Psychology Today. One sentence struck a cord with me, “Maybe hopelessness happens just before a revolution.” If holding on to hope for the impossible is killing me, perhaps hopelessness is the letting go and will be what sets me free.

It’s ultimately my responsibility to reach out and grab the things I want in life. It’s also up to me to move on when the impossible keeps slapping me in the face with its impossibleness. Hope is meant to be an anchor, but not a burden. Finding the strength to accept things for what they are seems insurmountable sometimes. But that strength is the tool that turns hopeless into revival. In other words, I will be able to stand up in the weakness so that I can find my wings. I may not be able to walk, but what if I fly?

According to the online Oxford dictionary, revival means, “an improvement in the condition or strength of something.” When old Baptists think of revival, they think of a week long session of sermons from a pastor they didn’t know meant to spark a fire they didn’t know they’d lost. Sometimes when we’re working on ourselves, revival means finding a voice we didn’t know we had to find a spark we didn’t know we deserved.

I haven’t given up on writing. That is a hope that will never die. But there are things in my life I need to release so that I can find the spark I didn’t know I deserved. Hope for the impossible is one of those things. Living in perpetual let down is not healthy and it’s not progressing me forward. It’s holding me down and keeping me from realizing that breakthrough that I’ve continued to pray for. To get something you’ve never had, you have to do something you’ve never done. For me, that starts with my revival.