Yesterday I just wanted to sit outside and stare at the clouds. I needed air that was fresh from nature. I needed time to process everything that is swirling around in this crazy mess of a mind of mine. There’s no better place than nature to hit the reset button on your mental state. Vitamin D fresh from the sun. Except the sun wasn’t initially shining.
One of my best friends was on her way to visit me and I was determined to babysit my pork shoulder on the grill come rain or shine. Dammit. The fog was sitting low to the earth and mist was swirling around making everything wet and icky. I took beach towels and wiped the patio chairs down and threw one over each of our chairs. I hoped the fog would lift and let me enjoy the patio. But, it didn’t. It hung around with heavy mist that even made my hair wet. I was determined, maybe to get pneumonia but determined nonetheless.
When my friend arrived, she hopped out of her car with a bag of cookies and treats. There’s nothing like carbs to wallow in when times are hard. She brought me the big mega stuffed Oreos. They taste like diabetes and heaven. She knew to bring out the big stuff to help cheer me up. Best of all, she didn’t mind sitting in the light misty rain with me.
She stayed for a few hours and we just talked while I tended my BBQ. My quarterly wine club delivery was dropped off by FedEx while we chatted. We celebrated the new muscadine moscato blend although she couldn’t have any. It seemed silly to be excited about wine we couldn’t share at the time since she had to drive back to Columbus. Sometimes it’s the silliest of celebrations that instill the best memories.
This is my friend who was with me when my Daddy was in the hospital with terminal cancer. I can see it almost as plain as day when she and I went outside to a little garden beside the hospital. I was mad at the world because my Daddy had quit smoking for 20+ years but lung cancer was still killing him. This is the friend who was also there with me at my Mama’s house when my Daddy took his last breath. She recalled the sky that day being the same color as his blue eyes.
These are the things that we always remember. The tough times and the good times. I recall a time when she and I went to Williamsburg, Virginia after school was out for the summer. We walked by some sheep and she shouted, “those are some big udders!” Those were, in fact, not udders. But everyone around us got a good laugh. We once went out one night when she had her Ford Mustang convertible 5 speed which I did NOT know how to drive. She was the designated driver for me and my cousin. Somewhere along the way, she forgot she was the designated driver. I learned that when I saw her flick her flip flop off her foot towards the ceiling and yell, “Yee haw!!!!” There’s nothing like realizing that your designated driver is toast to make you start guzzling water. We waited until closing time to leave, which gave me plenty of time to be sober. But, there was still a problem. Two of the three of us who knew how to drive a stick shift were giggling goobers. The one of us who was able to drive (ME) had to take a lesson on five speed driving from someone who thought everything was funny and who felt the need to sing instructions. But, I’ve never forgotten that night even if I still have no clue how to work a clutch.
This friend of mine has been by my side through it all. We’ve been lifelong friends, and though there are times we fuss, our friendship has withstood time and distance. I wouldn’t take anything for our friendship. We are more like sisters anyway. I’ve had plenty of friends come and go through the years but I have three best friends who are constants in my life. They take me as I am. Crazy, crying, laughing, loving. All of it, through many seasons. We all need these people who don’t let the ugly parts of you scare them away. And, we need to be those kinds of friends to those people who are in our tribe. We need people who will listen, people who will be honest even when we don’t want to hear it, and people who will drop everything, even when it’s just to sit with us in the rain.
Messpot Diaries 